


Unexpected Fiction

by orphan_account



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Comfort, Crossdressing as punishment, Fluff, Game Night, Holidays, Insecurity, Movie Night, Naked Dwarves, Nightmare, Sexual Humor, Studying, Swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-06
Updated: 2016-07-18
Packaged: 2018-06-06 15:44:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6760030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Company ends up in our world and shenanigans ensue.</p><p>I decided the movies don’t exist in this, because I didn’t want the boys to draw attention in public. The book is still in play though.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Initial Meeting

“Who are you? Why have you summoned us here?” The grumpy stranger with twin beads was glaring daggers into you.

“Who am I? Who the fuck are you? And why the fuck are you in my house?”

“It’s awfully big house for one lass.” Okay so, big baldy likes to point out the obvious.

“Yeah, I know dipshit. I live here. And what do you mean by ‘summoned’?”

The stranger with a long white beard that curled at the ends stepped forward “Alright everyone, let’s try to take a step back and figure this out. I’m sorry for dropping in on you like this lass. Balin, at your service.”

Your eyes widened “Wait, wait, wait. Balin? As in the dwarf? Brother to Dwalin? Adviser to Thorin?”

“Why, yes that would be me. How do you know so much?”

“No. No, no. No. NO. I have gone completely crazy. I read The Hobbit one two many times and now I’m hallucinating.”

“I assure you, we are very real.”

“That’s _exactly_ what a hallucination would say.”

“She’s got a point.” The one with only stubble murmured.

“And which one are you?”

“Kili, at your service.”

“So, I’m guessing blondy bear next to you is Fili?”

“Yep, at your-”

“Yeah, yeah I know you’re at my service. You’re all at my service. I’m so fucking glad my mental breakdown is so fucking helpful. Oh dear god I’m crazy.” Everything went black.

“Shh. I think she’s coming to.”

“Uuhgh. What happened?”

“You had a little bit of a spill, lass but you’re fine.” Judging by the ear trumpet, Oin was the one who filled you in on my current state.

“No, I’m not. I’m still hallucinating.”

“Think about it. If you were hallucinating, would we have been able to get you to the couch?” Big baldy had a point.

You started to jab Fili’s chest repeatedly “And she’s poking me.”

“Well, you certainly feel real.” You grabbed both sides of his face and started to rub in circles.

“Aaand she’s smushing my face.”

“Can you please stop man handling my nephew? You clearly know of our existence, so why is it so hard to believe that we’re here?” Ahh so he must be Thorin.

“Because you _don’t_ exist. You’re all fictional characters. I’ve read The Hobbit multiple times since I was a little girl.”

“Well, that is certainly unexpected. If you are so familiar with our story, then you must know that there are all kinds of magic in our world. So, this situation isn’t completely out of the question. We just need to find out how to get back” Balin piped in. Thank god, or Mahal you guess, he’s always so calm and reasonable.

“Well, you’re lucky I love you guys, because you’re welcome to stay here while we figure that out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can also find my writing on tumblr: http://specialagentcupcake.tumblr.com/fics


	2. Curious Clothes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili and Kili decided to go snooping around the reader’s room. Apparently the clothes of our world intrigue them, so they get a makeover

There are a lot of questions that come with fictional characters showing up in your house. The most prevalent one right now is: ‘Why is my underwear on the dog’s head?’

“FILI! KILI!”

“What did my nephews do now?”

You took your underwear off of the dog and waved it in Thorin’s face “They clearly they think that my room is open to visitors when I’m not home. Where are they?”

“I believe they’ve been upstairs all day.”

You entered your room and see a master disaster. Your clothes are everywhere, books are out of place, and the durins...oh lord the durins. They look like five-year-olds. There’s makeup all over their faces, none of it in the correct spot. Fili is wearing a bra like a tie while Kili is matching the dog. You cleared your throat making their heads snap around to face you.

“Oh, Y/N. Umm...Look, I know this is a mess, but we’ll clean it up.” Fili tried to reassure you, but the mess wasn’t the problem.

“It’ll be even cleaner than before.”

“Uh huh. And why exactly did you give yourselves the opportunity to make this mess?”

“Well you see, We were curious about things of this world.” Kili was the first to speak this time.

Fili rubbed the back of his neck and looked around. “Admittedly we got a little carried away.”

You were still pissed, but you got a genius idea, so you calmed your voice as much as possible.“Oh. If you’re curiously let me help you.”

“You’re not mad?”

“Nah. Just as long as you let me cure your curiosity.” Your grin could go head to head the devil himself. They both looked at each other with fright.

**_Thirty minutes later._ **

“You two just look so pretty. I’m a little jealous.”

Kili was wearing a blue-grey dress with a lace neckline.  His hair had it’s usual style of the front being pulled back and full but light makeup. Fili had the same type of makeup, but his hair was in a loose bun. His dress was pale mint green with a bow around the waist.

“Are we done now?” Kili whined.

“Hold on, let me take a picture.” You pulled my phone out and kept snapping pictures to your heart’s content.

“Dinner’s ready!” Bombur’s call could have come at a better time.

“Alright, well tell them we’ll be down in a bit, so we can take this off.” Fili started to reach for the zipper, but you grabbed his hand.

“Oh no, you don't.”

“What?” You didn’t realize Kili’s eyes could get that big.

“Calm down, there’s nothing wrong with crossdressing. What if the others have the same curiosity as you? Don’t you want to help them?”

“Nope. They can find out on their own.”

“If they decide to go snooping around my things without my knowledge, then they will.” You smirked.

They hung their heads in defeat. “Alright, we’ll go.” You made my way downstairs with Fili and Kili dragging behind.

“Y/N, did you ever find my nephews?”

“No, but I did find your nieces.”

“My what?” Thorin’s jaw dropped when he looked behind you. He quickly recovered and matched your smirk.

You heard Bofur whistle. “Well, you lasses look rather beautiful. Would you like to sit by me for dinner.” All the boys did was glare.

“The line of Durin is certainly lucky to have such good looking princesses.”  Nori chimed.

“Can we just eat” Fili was a growling camper.

“Sure thing, pretty lady.” You winked and tapped him on the butt as you went to my seat.

**_Later that night._ **

You felt Fili put his hand on your shoulder and turned around. “Hey Y/N, we’re really sorry. We honestly didn’t mean to snoop so much; we just wanted to take a look around.”

“And we know that even that’s wrong without your permission,” Kili added.

“It’s alright; I still love you guys. I’m sorry if I went too far with the makeover.”

  
They shared a smile and pulled you into a tight embrace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can also find my writing on tumblr: http://specialagentcupcake.tumblr.com/fics


	3. Books And Flirts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ori and Bilbo take a trip to the bookstore, and Ori gets more than just some reading material.

“Alright guys, I need to pick up some books for school. I’ll be back soon.” You called as you were making your way out the door. Your hand stopped on the door knob when you heard Bilbo’s voice.

“If you’re going to a bookstore, do you mind if I tag along?”

“Of course not, Bills.”

Out of the corner of your eye, I could see Ori making his way over. “May I come too?”

“Of course Ori. If you want, we could pick up so sketchbooks while we’re there.”

“Thank you so much. You really don’t have to.”

“It’s perfectly alright. Bilbo, you  better pick some stuff out too.”

“Oh no really, I wouldn't want to impose.”

“You’re not. I’m offering.”

**At the store**

Ori and Bilbo seemingly lost all hesitation they had in the beginning. Ori had three new sketchbook as well as a full set of drawing utensils and a few reference books. Bilbo had a stack of cookbooks, that mostly likely only ended because he could carry anymore, and a blank journal. You got two sheepish looks in return for my raised eyebrows.

When you got the checkout the cashier seemed particularly interested in Ori. “You draw?”

“Y-Yeah” It seemed like the first time Ori talked to a girl. He looked so nervous about a simple question.

“That’s so cool. Could I see your art sometime?”

“If you want to, sure”

“Great! Here’s my number.”

“Thank you.” Ori’s uncertainty made you realize you haven’t taught the group about phones yet. Definitely on your to-do list.

“Well, here’s your purchase. Have a good day.” She handed you the bags, but wouldn’t stop smiling at Ori. She watched until you were out the door.

“Damn, Ori. You’ve got game.”

“What?”

“She totally likes you, dude. That’s why she gave you her number.” The statement made Ori’s cheeks gain a red tint.

Bilbo seemed just as confused as Ori “What do you mean? She just wanted to see his drawings.”

“That’s not the only thing of his she wanted to see.” Ori blushed even more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can also find my writing on tumblr: http://specialagentcupcake.tumblr.com/fics


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The dwarves try to help make finals week a bit better

“Ugh.” You didn’t know how much longer you could suffer through this. It’s accursed finals week.  Which means you’ve been locked up in your room all day studying. You should have literally locked yourself in, because Fili and Kili came busting in. 

“Hello, Y/N. We haven't seen you all day; we were starting to worry for your safety.”

“And our boredom.” 

“Not now. I don’t have the time or patience for you.” You growled, not even turning around.

“Whoa. Okay.” Kili put his hands up in surrender as they both backed out the door.

You whipped around and reach out to them. “No, wait. I’m sorry. I’m just very stressed from all this studying. I didn’t mean to be so rude.”

“It’s okay. We understand; we’ll let everyone know not to bother you.” 

“Thank you.”

Ten minutes later you heard my door open, yet again.“Look I don’t want to be rude, but I thought Fili and Kili were going to tell you to stay away.” 

“That’s actually the reason that we’re here.” You turned around and Saw Dori holding a platter, with the rest of the company behind him. “I made you some tea to help clear your mind.” 

“We also brought snacks, including chocolate.” Bofur chimed in.

Bilbo was next to speak. “And scented candles, to help you relax.” 

You got up and hugged everyone you could. Those you couldn’t reach came around and hugged you.  “Thank you, so much. It may not seem like much, but this really means alot to me. Final weeks are always horrible for me, but this made is a little better.” 

“No problem, Y/N. We’ll get out of your way now, so you can continue your studies.” Thorin gave me a pat on the back for good luck.

**_After exams_ **

You barged through the door, startling some of the dwarves. “I passed them all!” 

  
There was a round of cheers and hugs, as well as a few kisses on the cheek. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can also find my writing on tumblr: http://specialagentcupcake.tumblr.com/fics


End file.
